The Hidden Blade Assassin's Creed in Depth

granted, but its filled with a million dollars worth of manure.

i wish i had blue eyes.

Granted, but now your whole body is blue.

I wish for more snow and less traffic

Granted, but now there's a blizzard and it's too dangerous to drive.

I wish that this wish was an incorruptible wish and that I had another incorruptible wish. And with that incorruptible wish, I wish that I had an infinite number of incorruptible wishes. I win.

your wish has been granted on opposite day.

i wish my car could levitate

Granted but it can only go up and down

I wish I had a 50" HDTV

Granted but you don't have anything to watch

I wish this song had more attention: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zdNdjF-htY&feature=related

Granted, but only because there are subliminal messages in it.
I wish I had a lifetime supply of socks.

Granted, but your feet have to be amputated meaning your lifetime supply of socks is worthless.

I wish the Christmas break began at the end of this week instead of next week.

Granted but it now ends a week earlier than it normally would.

I wish stab would install an eye roll emoticon

Granted, but's admin-only, and theres plenty of opportunities for stab and ian to use it.

I wish that someone would wish the wish that all of the countries in the world were united and peaceful because I have a great corruption for that one.

Granted, but now the corruption is gone from your mind.

I wish that all of the countries in the world were united and peaceful.
*There*

Granted but red just lost his opportunity to corrupt it AND now that there's world peace there's no chaos. Without chaos order cannot exist, and so the universe implodes on itself.

I wish DAZ hadn't made that so easy

Granted but now his new wish is completly impossible to corrupt.

I wish the AC2 DLC would arrive soon.

Granted but you can't download it (and the laws of physics prevent you from playing it elsewhere).

I wish I knew the meaning of life.

Granted, but it is this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keI1BqFS3Kc
Love Offspring.

I wish I could do something awesome so the world could remember me for millenia.

Granted but you can't remember what you did and end up torrentially confused. This confusion sends you into a quest for what you actually did. You waste your entire life trying to remember something that your brain won't let you and at your funeral, Morgan Freeman laughs at you out of pity and disgust.

I wish Northwestern could have beaten Auburn today in the Champs Sports Bowl.

Granted, but since they beat up Auburn they were disqualified and lost the game.

I wish that I had a lifetime's supply of dark chocolate that could not be melted.

Granted but after eating dark choclate every day for a month and you still have tens of thousands of bars left, you become so sick of dark choclate that you never eat it again for the rest of your life.

I wish I was Prime Minister and not Gordon Brown....

Granted, but then they invent a fake electoral fraud which leads a revolt against you leaded by Gordon, which has military support from Britain. They overthrow you and then sentence you to past the rest of your life digging salt on Africa.

I wish I had a hidden blade.

Granted, but you trip and stab yourself with your own blade.

I wish the Pittsburgh Penguins would get off their losing streak.

Granted but they lose to the Chicago Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup Finals anyway (which is what's actually going to happen)

I wish I wasn't so bored all of the sudden

Granted, but then it is discovered that it was because the whole team was doing steroids, there secret is revealed and they are banished from the NHL forever.

I wish I had a Tissot watcht.

James failed

Granted, but then you become so happy and euphoric that you have a nervous breakdown and enter a coma of seventeen years.

I wish I wasn't the only person that actually knows about AC in the city.

Granted but then you forget and have no idea what's going on, and you can't remember it either. You have a similar fate in that of DAZ's, in that this confusion sends you into a quest for what everyone else knows. You waste your entire life trying to remember something that your brain won't let you and at your funeral, Pele laughs at you out of pity and disgust.

*cough* make a wish

Oh, my bad. I wish that the Bears had made the playoffs.

Granted but they are beaten in the next match.

I wish I didn't have to revise for my exams and learned everything instantly.

Granted but know you can't get the job you wanted.

I wish my Dad doesn't say no all the time.

Granted, but instead he says Yes all the time and life becomes too easy. Your family also develops financial problems as he now says Yes to everyone and every offer.

I wish I had a box of chocolates.

Edit: Gah!

Granted but you still can't spell

I wish I knew everything and that knowing everything wouldn't come back to haunt me.

Granted but he who increaseth knowledge still increaseth sorrow.
You now get a notoriously sickening wish to play drinking games with Al Mualim ALL.. NIGHT.. LONG!

I wish I was an Assassin in the Brotherhood.

Granted but you're the lowest possible rank and in an attempt to prove yourself to the Bureau leader (I think by now Al Mualim has been replaced by Stab) you attempt a leap of faith into a hay bale. Unfortunately, you forget that the physics in AC2 are way off from reality, so you end up breaking your neck and killing yourself. Meanwhile, the rest of us go on to save the world.

I wish I could stop/move time and that I couldn't get frozen when I moved time (like in Clockstoppers, good movie btw)

Granted, but just like in the Twilight Zone episode, A kind of a stopwatch, you end up getting trapped where the world is frozen in time, unable to unfreeze it, forced to live out the rest of your life in desolate loneliness.

I wish our local cinema would be bought and re-opened, I really miss being able to see movies conveniently.

Granted but the only movies available are Transformers 2 and Spider Man 3, both of which viewing more than once can cause serious depression and loss of hope in the world for movies.

I wish that the college football season wasn't over.

Granted, but it'll be cancelled permanently next season.

I wish I had a pet bird.

granted, but it's constantly flipping you off.

I wish I had a job

Granted, but Bill Lumberg is your boss. His constant nagging for TPS reports drives you to the point of insanity and you eventually just end up quitting anyway.

I wish I could've seen the Wrestler in theaters.

Granted but it's the PG version and Marisa Tomei is fully clothed in every scene.

I wish the Seattle Seahawks were playing in the NFC Championship Game this weekend.

Granted, but Lilk perseveres enough and the Saints wipe them out.

Also, I saw the Wrestler because I heard Mickey Rourke gave a phenomenal performance, not because of Marisa Tomei. I didn't find her very attractive anyway.

I wish that I could write a sitcom about the Republican senator that just got elected in liberal Massachusetts and is preventing Obamacare from getting passed (sounds like a great idea for a show, does it not?).

Wish granted, but whilst in some parts of America it is a smash hit, in others it is a ratings flop.

(OT: I don't understand why Obamas health plan is so controversial, here in Britian, we've had the NHS for about 60 years and it is generally a good idea for universal health care.)

I wish conditions will improve for the Haitians.

Granted. Haiti makes a quick and full recovery. Buoyed by relief funds, they become an economic superpower in the semiconductor industry. In December 2010 Haiti buys Great Britain. All British subjects are required to speak French.

I wish it were possible to stealth assassinate all of the targets in AC2.

(Nice save! I forgot that people had to corrupt the wish lol....)

Granted but the game makes it almost impossible to survive if you get in a single fight at all, even outside the assassination missions, so you have to kill every enemy of the game completly stealthily.

I wish we had a faster broadband connection.

Granted, and you get it from AT&T! The problem? Your super-fast internet is taken away by the government because you used the connection solely to look at porn.

I wish I hadn't sent my busted 360 until last week (got it back yesterday as a new unit! But still...)

The genie is confused by your wish... sends in a new unit last week and you receive a busted 360 yesterday.

I wish Asaic would make some more AC2 videos.

Granted but the quality is so good that your eyes melt.

I wish I had the Halo 3 Original Soundtrack

Granted, but you download it illegaly from a pirate webpage. MS find out and in an act of revenge, then send a virus to your computer. Now beware, as this is not normal virus, this one makes Clippo appear in every single window that you open lending you for "help". This eventually drives you mad and makes you commit suicide.

I wish I was in Panama, instead of this frozen hell.

Granted, but in a bizarre turn of events, Mt. Vesuvius erupts again and causes a global shift in weather patterns, making Panama even colder than Canada. So much, in fact, that absolute zero is reached and you freeze to death.

I wish there was a way to earn microsoft points rather than have to make expensive purchases for them ALL THE TIME.

Granted but the only other way is to give every male staff member of MS a blowjob.

I wish I had some ADAM and that it didn't drove me crazy or addicted after using it.

In a side note: I thought you could earn Ms points as prizes in tournaments.